Welp, it’s been a weird week, y’all. Between the election, the forest fires ravaging the mountains in North Carolina, and the super moon tonight, it feels a bit like all those doomsayers could be right about the end being near. Of course, I’m being hyperbolic . . . mostly. But since I also happen to be watching The Walking Dead tonight, I decided to give into my paranoia. Hence, a guide to gear and other good stuff you’ll need in the zombpocalypse.

Real talk: I never really considered such morose things growing up.  I subscribed more to the whole “glass half full” outlook on life. Then I got older. I had babies. Now everything is terrifying, ha! And, c’mon, have you ever watched those videos on YouTube of people on bath salts or flakka? They give good reason to go alarmist.

I cover The Walking Dead for my day job (night job?), so I think it’s also fair to say watching the zombpocalyptic series has made me consider becoming a doomsday prepper. Some of what you see on the show is practical. Some of it, decidedly not. But, hey, I feel like preparation is part of the battle, and TWD counts toward that end.

Horrible things never surprise my husband like they do me. By nature, he’s much more cynical than I am. In fact, he’s the very reason I started watching The Walking Dead to begin with. Now it’s our weekly at-home date-night ritual, by which we watch, scream at the TV, and discuss the world’s impending doom. Romantic, no?

Eventually, I’m going to interview my friend Neely — who is honest-to-God the guy you want to be in a bunker with when sh*t goes down — to update this survival guide. He’s like a Southern MacGuyver or something, and I feel like his insight would probably be quite a bit more pragmatic than mine.

For now, though, I’m content to indulge my comical sense of foreboding about what’s to come with this list of things we might need in the unlikely (but possible, right??) event of the zombpocalypse.

Sources: Amazon; Amazon; Amazon

Source: Adventure Medical Kits

Source: Think Geek

Source: The Grommet

Source: The Grommet

Source: Amazon

Source: REI Co-Op

Source: Think Geek

Source: REI Co-Op

Source: Garmin

Source: The Grommet

Source: Think Geek

Source: Adventure Medical Kits

Source: Rocky National

Source: Adventure Medical Kits

Source: Amazon

Source: Amazon

Source: Patagonia

Source: Think Geek

Source: Amazon

There you have it. Should the zombpocalypse break out anytime soon, find me and thank me by chasing away denizens of the undead. Until then, I’ll be on the couch, watching The Walking Dead and taking notes.